The writer’s use of language had numerous effects on me as the reader.
From the start the mood of the text made me feel calm and dreamy. The use of adjectives helped me imagine the scene they described with vivid detail. It made me feel as though I was there with them. The writer used many adjectives like ‘yellow,’ ‘milky,’ ‘blue’, ‘brown,’ ‘wet’, ‘steep’, ‘rocky,’ ‘cold,’ ‘foolish,’ and so many others. These words were used to describe the mountains, fields, sky, clouds, air, and a widow inside a book. The writer’s choice to use these adds to the reader's mental image tremendously. The author also included a preposition phrase which furthered my understanding. They used the word ‘against’ when talking about the men they saw in brown blankets.
By looking at the picture provided, you can see what the location looks like, but with the writer’s words, you are able to feel like you are really there.
The structure of this text was in chronological order. It included a beginning, a middle, and an end. Writing in this order helps the reader immensely more with following along and understanding what is going on. The writer first started with Kashmir, the northernmost region of India, and the description of the land. They described the nature, the view, and every single thing they noticed. One thing in imparticular was the, “...men wrapped in brown blankets against the morning mist,” This sentence is very necessary because later on in Qazigund, the Gateway of Kashmir, the writer comes across, “...the cold air of charcoal, tobacco, cooking oil, months-old dirt, and human excrement.” This air, paired with the men at Kashmir, is all revealed to be connected to a book, ‘West Indian Reader,’ which explains it all.
The writer went from being confused by what they saw to understanding it all when they realized it was in a book. Their tone changed. This is also shown when the writer takes an abrupt break in his sentence. Quote; “Grass grew on the mud-packed roots of cottages - and at last it was clear why…” This sentence shows the moment the writer knew why and everything pieced together.
After reviewing my commentary I have given myself a score that I feel is best.
ReplyDeleteIn AO1 I would give myself 3 marks considering the use of language and my demonstration of understanding. There was a clear understanding of my text through the context, audience, and meaning I included. I made sure to explain the context of both Kashmir and Qazigund and the surroundings of each, along with the author's use of adjectives. There were clear references to characteristic features, but I could've gone more in-depth and made them more effective on the reader.
In AO3 I would give myself 15 marks. There was a detailed analysis of the text and was effectively structured with my use of ordering in my paragraphs. I used good, appropriate language that linked evidence with explanatory sentences. Any quotes I included I made sure to include good elaboration. I feel like I lacked in the effective selection of element forms, structure, and language for analysis because it was definitely not that effective. Another area where I lacked in was my detailed awareness. I could have added more to the meaning and style of the commentary.